11 Steps on How to Look More Attractive & Be Your Best Self

Unbeatable ways to make a lasting improvement

Written by Salvatore Marashi

Ready to become a more attractive man? Good. Becoming more attractive is definitely something we all are interested in. Looking and being attractive definitely provides you with advantages in life. Look, it’s definitely never a bad idea to look more attractive to your wife, girlfriend, crush or friends. So put your notions of vanity aside, being attractive is more than just being a handsome man (although that is important). Looking and being attractive comes from both within and without. The problem is most advice out there is vague and incomplete.

Don’t worry though, like always, we at the GentleManual have got you covered. We put together 11 of the best steps to looking and being attractive. Things may seem daunting now but these are easy and complete solutions that you can start working on as soon as you finish reading this. So if you’re ready to start being a 10/10, let’s get started!

The Importance of Hygiene

On the journey to becoming a more attractive man, we’d be remiss if we didn’t start here. Bad hygiene takes you out of the game before it even starts. This is a good place to begin since the changes here can make a big difference.

If you’re not taking the time to handle your skin and oral care routines, you’ll never be as attractive as you should be. Imagine kissing someone with a greasy face and Frito breath. Disgusting right? (Sorry to put that image in your head). Yeah, those same standards apply to you.

Oral Care Routine

Morning:

• Brush Teeth
• Floss
• Mouthwash

Night:

• Brush Teeth
• Floss
• Whitening Mouthwash with Flouride

Skin Care Routine

Morning:

• Wash Face
• Preshave
• Apply Shaving Cream
• Shave
• After Shave (No Alcohol)
• Moisturize
• Eye, Dark Circle Remover
• SPF

Night:

• Cleansing Face Wash
• Exfoliate (2x a week)
• Moisturize
• Nighttime Anti-aging Face SerumEye Cream

Essential Skin Products:

Lab Series Moisturizer 

Kiehl’s Eye Alert

Brickell Anti-Aging Cream

Becoming a Well-Groomed Man

How you take care of your hair will definitely play into what makes an attractive man. A well-groomed man will always have a leg up on his counterparts.

Learn to manage your mane and your scruff. Learn what hair type you have (thin, thick, curly straight or wavy) and find the best products and cuts for you. Start and maintain a routine of washing and conditioning. This way your hair will never be left dry or greasy. If you’re thinning up top, go read our guide on how to save your hair, and get things under control.

For my bearded friends, don’t forget to show your facial hair some love. Your beard needs washing and moisturizing just like the top of your head. Finish things off a couple of times a week with a trim and some beard oil.

Hair Care Routine

• Wash your hair every day or every other day (use a light shampoo that’s paraben free)
• Condition 2-3 times a week
• Multivitamin
• Biotin Supplement
• Nizoral 1-2 times a week (thinning hair)
• Minoxidil twice a day (thinning hair)
• Finasteride once a day (thinning hair)

Beard Care Routine

• Shampoo twice a week
• Condition twice a week
• Trim 1-2 times a week
• Beard oil every day or every other day

As for brands, the men’s grooming market is oversaturated. There are tons of grooming creams, oils, accessories, etc… That’s why we’ve included a list of some of our favorite men’s grooming products.

Essential Hair Products:

Free and Clear Shampoo

Jack Black Conditioner

Scotch Porter Beard Conditioner 

Why Posture Matters

Your teachers were secretly doing you a favor when they told you to stand up straight. Good posture is another easy way to instantly improve how attractive you are. Standing tall with your shoulders relaxed and your chest open portrays a more confident body language. Confident body language will definitely help you in being more attractive.

Even better, good posture improves your overall body functions so you’re less likely to be sore or to get injured after a particularly hard set at the gym.

Standing:

• Head up and slightly forward
• Shoulders back
• Chest open

Sitting:

• Back straight
• Shoulders back
• Knees bent at a right angle
• Feet flat on the floor

Improving your posture won’t happen overnight. Things like posture exercises such as pull-ups and push-ups can help though. If you’re really serious about it, there are posture correctors on the market. They’ll strap onto your back and make a ping sound whenever you start to slouch. After a couple of days of that annoying sound, good posture will be ingrained in you.

Fitness Goals

I won’t tell you that if you want to be attractive that you must have six pack abs and be movie stars shredded. However, being in shape is always a good thing. Spending time in the gym or out for a run keeps you slim and fit. When you’re healthier, you’re going to look better in your clothes and have way more energy. There’s really no downsides to being all-around healthier.

You know that glow you get after exercising? Yeah, it’s good, people like that. Trust me, you’ll feel a lot better if you’re in shape. Besides keeping you physically healthy, exercise releases stress and is a vital component in looking younger. As they say, “if you feel good, you look good.”

Our Men’s Workout Routine

• Weights 3-4 times a week (upper body 2-3 times, lower body 1-2 times) 
• Run twice a week
• Rest 1-2 a week

Note: Keep in mind your body shape and maximize your workouts. Never workout beyond your capacity and find workout regimens that are within your skill level.

Utilizing Style

First and foremost, we are a style publication. So we understand the importance of looking good. Your style plays a big part in how attractive both you and others see yourself. Style should broadcast who you are as a person and exemplify your best features. Taking care of how you dress shows self-appreciation and savvy. Everyone’s style is their own and we have tons of articles on here to help you realize what looks will work best for you.

We get that men’s fashion can be daunting. There’s tons of men’s style advice out there too. If you’re looking to get started immediately, here are your must-have men’s apparel pieces.

Men’s Style Must-Haves:

• 1 Bomber or Harrington jacket 
• A white tee 
• A black tee 
• An olive or navy tee 
• Two pairs of jeans (light and dark, i.e black and blue) 
• A pair of chinos 
• A leather jacket 
• A blazer
• 1 Pair of sneakers
• 1 Pair of boots Sunglasses

The Power of Scent

How you smell says a lot about you. Hopefully, it says something sexy, confident and not B.O related. Your scent is important for a couple of reasons. First, your choice says a lot about how you perceive yourself. Are you going for something woodsy or beachy? Second, it’ll factor into how others remember you. Our sense of smell plays a huge role in human thoughts, memories, and emotions. So give people something good to think about.

Choosing a cologne takes a bit of work. Make sure you take the time to smell different ones and consider how they fit into your style. Also, keep in mind that the scent will change over time as your body heat effects it.

As far as buying, there are just as many expensive cologne brands as there are cheap cologne brands. Price won’t necessarily guarantee a better product. That being said, the pricer bottles, likely are made with better ingredients and have more nuanced scents.

There are countless cologne brands and styles, so things can get complicated. Scents fall into the categories of citrus, wood, marine, gourmand, oriental, floral, oud and sporty. Each one has its own qualities. So we’ve done the work for you.

Citrus: Fresh, lively, zesty

Wood: Pine, outdoorsy, confident, manly

Marine: Minimalist, clean, elegant

Gourmand: Vanilla, coffee, bold, sensual

Oriental: Spicy, tobacco, boozy

Floral: Light, perfumed, gentle

Oud: Strength, musk, maturity

Sporty: Herbal, loud, vibrant

Our Top Picks: Versace Pour Hommes Dior Suavage

Note: Go easy on the cologne. People shouldn’t be able to smell you from a mile away. A small spritz on your neck, chest or wrist should be enough.

Being Attractive with Confidence

I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again that confidence is key. Well, that’s right. A confident man has control of one’s self and how they handle the world around them. Confidence isn’t the ability to never doubt yourself. It’s not cocky or loud. What confidence is, is faith in your abilities, love and respect for yourself, understanding the role of failure and handling what the world throws at you.

Confidence gives you the power to do things in your life that you otherwise wouldn’t have the strength to do. Maybe you want to rock a bold print shirt or go talk to that person you’ve been crushing on. Having confidence gives you the tools to make that happen.

There’s this stigma that confidence comes from how others treat you. Relying on praise and approval from others will only ever at best give you a temporary confidence. True confidence comes from within. Confidence and self-esteem are related. Instead of focusing on the things that you need to be better at, zone in on what you’re already good at. Give yourself the love and recognition for excelling at those things. Not everyone has the talents that you have. Be proud of that fact.

I recognize that it’s not easy to be confident all of the time. Sometimes it’s important to fake it. If you act confident soon enough you’ll find yourself and others starting to believe it.

Conversational Superstar

Words are power and a good conversationalist is very powerful. A man who can hold a conversation is an attractive man. This skill deceptively seems easy, but it’s not. Before we get further into this, think about the conversations you have every day. Most are probably boring interactions with the dreadful hum of small talk. Every once in a while though, you meet someone whose words are a lasting impact. I’m going to bet that it is largely because of their conversational skills. Their words made you think and feel things deeper than the average person would have been able to. When you talked with them, you felt heard and you felt engaged. You can have that effect as well.

I want to introduce you to the term “deep diving.” Deep diving is the ability to move past the surface level and go into topics that a person values. It is identifying something a person cares about and creating a space for that to be expressed.

It is not constantly asking questions. Instead, you are slowly delving into meaningful conversations. Ironically, a great conversationalist spends more time listening than talking.

People love to talk about themselves and deep diving does just that. More so, it has the added benefit of tying you and them to whatever strong emotions and connections that come up.

If you’re serious about becoming more attractive, you must learn this skill.

Why you Must have a Sense of Adventure

There’s no substitute for a curious mind. Being adventurous seems like only a tangential way to be more attractive. Let me change your mind on that. While “being adventurous” is a broad statement, it’s because it has broad effects.

An adventurous man experiences life. He tries new things, visits new places, is open to learning, and he pushes himself. Treading familiar ground and repeating the same things leads to stagnation. When trying to be more attractive, it’s crucial to understand that there is no end date. Your journey will never be complete. Being more attractive is an ongoing process. Thus, adventure provides the ability to perpetually stay interesting.

An adventurous spirit ties into other things on our list. The adventurous man is a confident man and vice-versa. By getting out of your comfort-zone, you become self-reliant. Attractiveness starts not with how others see you but how you see yourself.

Humor and Charm

Women love a sense of humor. Well, everyone loves a sense of humor. No, I’m not talking about mimicking the high school class clown. That guy sucks. I’m talking about utilizing humor and charm.

Humor comes from a healthy awareness of yourself and the world around you. It’s the act of putting things into perspective and not sweating over the small stuff. With humor, you can disarm people and break down their walls so that deeper connections can form.

Charm breaks down a couple of simple things, eye contact, and connection.

Eye Contact

The charming man understands the power of eye contact. Your eyes communicate just as much as your words. This is a scientific way to be more attractive. Always meet the gaze of who you’re talking to. You’ll come across as much more confident if you can master this. Learn when to soften your gaze and when to hold it. These tools will serve you well, especially in romantic endeavors.

If you’re shy or have social anxiety, this will probably be a hurdle for you. That’s okay, with practice, you’ll get this down in no time. Instead of expecting yourself to pull this off with everyone, pick a specific group or person to work on it with. For instance, you can focus on holding eye contact with the server at your coffee shop when you order. Soon enough, it’ll become second hand.

You really can’t skip this one. This is a necessity to be considered as being attractive.

Compliments and Connection

The charming man is an expert at connecting. Besides deep diving, a man with charm understands compliments. Everybody wants to feel good about themselves. People love compliments. To be instantly more charming, learn when to dole them out.

Praising your coworker’s skills when they help you out of a tough situation is a good example of when to compliment. Take note that there are a time and place for compliments. Over-doing it can make them seem less genuine as well as have the negative effect of putting people on a pedestal. That’s never a good thing.

Work on your humor and charm, they go a long way in transforming you into a more attractive person. Being attractive is more than just the physical. Managing to be emotionally attractive as well, is just as important.

Creating an Attractive Lifestyle

Your lifestyle is perhaps the biggest contributor to looking and being attractive. It influences your health and fitness as well as how you come across to others. Most importantly, it shapes how you interact within your own world and thus how you see yourself.

For instance, you can’t see yourself as a successful businessman or charming heartbreaker if you spend your days sitting on your couch watching sit-com reruns. Well maybe you can think that, but that’s called delusion.

Creating an attractive lifestyle comes from a few things.

Making and Maintaining Friendships

No man is an island. We all need to rely on our friends from time to time. Way too often we allow ourselves to stay in our own bubble and create distance between others. This prevents us from making new connections and lets old friendships disappear.

Attractive men have strong networks of friends. They spend the time to make friends wherever they go and put in the effort to stay in touch. Being attractive is aided by the help of friends.

A solid support group provides you with many things. They get you out of the house and aid in an active, exciting lifestyle. This communicates to others that your time is precious and valued. You are in demand.

You Own Your Responsibility

An attractive lifestyle comes with responsibilities. Own these commitments and get things taken care of. This means making the necessary career decisions, dealing with issues before they become bigger problems, and being decisive.

Being successful is attractive. Success doesn’t have to mean money, it can pertain to whatever you excel at. With that, others will see that you are someone to be relied on. That you are in control of your own world.

Most people find life to be largely out of their control. More or less, it’s chaos for them. Showing the opposite of that immediately paints you in the light of being attractive.

Having Fun

We can all take life too seriously sometimes. A great lifestyle is balanced. Fun is an important part of that. People always think that attractive people are having more fun because they are attractive. In reality, they are more attractive because they are having fun with life.

Focus on the things you love to do. Give them attention and cultivate those hobbies. People want to be around others with a positive outlook.

These eleven tips will no doubt set you on the right path to looking and being attractive. Understand that it is a process and don’t be too hard on yourself. How can others see how great you are if you don’t see it in yourself first?

Go out and try these tips for yourself. Tell us if you found these tips helpful or which ones you’d include?

Salvatore Marashi

SOURCE: THE GENTLEMANUAL