SATURDAY NIGHTS WITH SPARKS

Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!

Believe me, it's a beautiful experience, to have the legal opportunity to be with that one person that makes your world go round, makes you happy, sad, cloud 9ish and have babies, till death do you part....blah blah blah!!

Or better yet, we can say, marriage, especially in Nigeria, is the opportunity to flee from our homes, out of the "control" of our parents, at all cost, whether you are ready or not!! Ogini?? Na lie??

I had a friend in secondary school, we graduated together and there was a period when most of our mates were getting married every Saturday. To me it was fun jumping from one wedding to another (we would skip church service, some pastors too dey talk) and get to the reception venue early, and occupy the best tables.

You mean after shoving that expensive aso-ebi down my throat I won’t eat jollof?? Are you serious?? Nobody jokes with wedding jollof rice, what do you mean??!!

But this was wearing my friend out; she got moody and would sigh when she sees another engagement picture or wedding anniversary.

Now check this out, my friend just ended youth service, no job, no money, no man!! Really? And she wants to get married at all cost.

How about we take a step back and dance to "All the single ladies" by Beyonce.

Shhhhhh!!!! Come back here my friend!! You are not Beyounce! She was stable financially and emotionally before treading that path.

I have just 3 suggestions.

1.      Have a source of legit income. Office work, business, trading, anything that brings the dough!! I didn't mention runs and "magarism". Your husband to be isn't Micro Finance Bank...neither is he supposed to open live savings on your head. Be a support.

2.      Be emotionally and mentally mature!! Read books on marriage, attend seminars, PRAY!!! Can you tolerate his excesses?? Do you know how to say sorry even when you are right (that one hard oo...I still dey learn), the flowers and gifts will reduce in case you don't know. Have you learnt to trust?? Or you will forever be a member of #TeamSnoop. Look into it.

3.      Don't throw away your goals and dreams once you become Mrs; your ultimate vision should not be to become Mama Bomboy. You can be a working mom; an ambitious mom. It’s a thing of pride when moms balance work and family. It sends a signal to our men that we bring other things to the table apart from good looks and veejayjay.

Finally, whatever is good...think on these things....make sure you are ready....before you say I do.

About the Author
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as 'Sparks' has to say about herself......................

As a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present day banker.....and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my pen.......therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.