SATURDAY NIGHTS WITH SPARKS

I AM NOT A VIRGIN!!!

Hi. My name is Sarah. I am 23years old and I haven't slept with any man. Growing up, we had relatives staying in our house. My dad took care of them all. That day mummy traveled, Uncle Dexter came into my room at night with lots of sweets and cookies, oh!! I loved cookies. I was six years old. He kissed me and asked me to touch him, that he would give me more cookies, I did. He would touch my body and play with me while I ate my cookies joyfully. This continued for a long time and he said it was our secret, and no one had to know, not even my best friend Noami.

I was 8years old when he put his fingers in my pants. I wasn't new to his advances but looked forward to his goodies. He tried to put it in and I wanted to cry because it was painful, he kept telling me sorry and dug his fingers in, closing his eyes. This time it was different. It was painful and there was blood. Uncle Dexter hurriedly cleaned me up and threatened me not to tell my parents or he would cut off my neck. I was very scared; I didn’t tell mummy or daddy. Uncle Dexter isn’t married till date. I AM NOT A VIRGIN.

My name is Cindy. I love sports!! Serena Williams is one of my favourite women, and I one day hope to run as fast as Usain Bolt. I take part in long jump, high jump and relay races. I do not joke with my training. My coach says I will get to represent Nigeria one day at the Olympics.

After training last week, I saw a patch of blood on my undies. I knew it wasn’t my menses. We keep record of such things because medical issues are not treated lightly in the team. I had to tell my coach. She referred me to the medical doctor who carried out tests and checkups. I was told my hymen tore due to the strenuous exercise. I AM NOT A VIRGIN!!

My name is Alice. I can boldly say I am a good girl. I've been obedient to my parents and I adhere to their instructions. I sing in the choir and do not miss service. I don’t mess around and a lot of people respect me.

On Saturday evening after studying, I decided to stroll round my neighborhood. I wandered away from home, taking in and appreciating the beauty of nature. I wasn’t aware time was far spent. It was past 6pm when I looked at my watch, I decided to take the shortest route home. My biggest mistake ever!!!

It was a lonely stretch, with overgrown bushes on the side. I hurried as I walked, feeling very uncomfortable. I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see some guys running after me. I turned and increased my pace, only to bump into a bigger guy who jumped out of the bush right in front of me. They pushed me into the bush, stifled my screams, and took turns with me. There were three of them. I AM NOT A VIRGIN.

My name is Ada. I know I don’t quite fit into this category, but I will still tell my story.

I grew up in a very strict and religious home. I attended all the church programmes and crusades while growing up. I wasn’t allowed to have male friends and they dared not visit me. I was a very good girl until I got admitted into the higher institution.

Since it was far from home, I felt I was free. I now had time to explore. I was determined to gain all I had lost. I partied, clubbed, drank and had sex!! Nobody forced me, I chose this path. I experimented with the good, bad and ugly. I wanted "experience".

Now I know better, I have changed my ways...but I AM NOT A VIRGIN!

The society taunts them for not being virgins, nobody cares about history. Non-virgins are not good "wife material" they say, but I am tempted to ask, does virginity guarantee a successful home??

People call them loose...but I see them as people who chance and circumstance happened to, some made mistakes, dusted themselves and have forged ahead to become great women and potential mothers.

I live a life where I don’t judge people anymore. There is always a story behind a story.

To the likes of Ada, Alice, Cindy and Sarah out there, this is from me to you, wherever you are, pick up your self esteem from where you dropped it and shine like a diamond.

Anyone...and I mean ANYONE who looks down on you because you are not a virgin, is not worthy of you. Go out there and shine brighter than a diamond.

Virgins...its beautiful what you have, it's priceless.. i am proud of you!! In this era of moral decadence, where sex, porn, "babymamaism" is celebrated, "his banner over us is love* (u didn’t hear it from me *winks*). Despite the peer pressure, you still preserved yourself, I am beyond proud!!! Don’t ever give in, until the right time and also never allow it raise your shoulder higher than normal...many people lost it in ways they would sadly, never forget.

Remain loveable!!

About the Author
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as 'Sparks' has to say about herself......................

As a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present day banker.....and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my pen.......therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.