5 Reasons why you need a 'Danfo' Ride this week

Hello beautiful peeples, lets flashback to sometimes in December last year when Keji used to drop me off at Ikeja-Along on her way to work every morning. On a fateful day, the 'Cement' axis of the Oshodi-Abeokuta Expressway was in serious traffic and cars were battling to menuover the tiny portion of the road, the road was very busy because of the construction works ongoing on the road and Keji was seriously trying to avoid a reckless 'danfo' driver who was hell-bent on swavering her off to a disadvantaged position. "Shey o ri mi ni (Can't you see me)?" She queried out of frustration.

Interestingly, I was in the passenger seat and I witnessed the whole event. I was like; "these yellow buses sef, they are making a young lady speak yoruba by force". I concluded jokingly but she kept a straight-face. Obviously, she did not find the incident funny at all and I totally understand her plight.

Most of these commercial bus drivers are completely annoying, they can beg for Africa! The question is, "why do you need to beg when the deed have been done when you might have avoided the situation?" I had to say something better! I thought, "Well, these yellow buses make Lagos different, you know, they are Lagos!" I concluded.

Moving swiftly on, Lagos is an attitude. Lagos is a way of life. Lagos is unique and different; and these yellow buses contribute their quota to make Lagos a great and wonderful city to live in. This article is dedicated to provide you - my esteemed readers, five interesting reasons why the ‘danfo’ buses are the best form of transportation in the Mega-city. They are discussed below;

        I.            The Drama - If you are a regular commuter, you will totally understand! ‘Danfo’ buses are blessed with a lot of drama. Most of these dramas make you laugh uncontrollably and they ease off the stress of everyday 'hustle and bustle' of the cosmopolitan city. If you board a ‘danfo’ bus this week, any of these three things will happen;

·         The Bus conductor insulting/fighting a passenger because of he/she did not ‘enter with his/her change'

·         The Bus conductor insulting/fighting a passenger because he/she did not state their bus stop on time

·         The commuters insulting/fighting themselves because they cannot 'dress' well for them to sit properly and so on.

But, if you are very lucky, you will witness the three scenarios stated above in one trip. Strange but true!

      II.            The Passengers – Do you know that ‘danfo’ buses are wonderful avenues for you to tap currents? Guys, you know why? When you sit next to an endowed lady in a crowded bus and make body contact. Trust me; your day is blessed already but you will see the exact opposite of a blessed day when a chic mistakenly stains your snow-white shirt with her powder/lipstick in a ‘danfo’ bus on a Monday morning. Abi, you are sitting next to someone dosing off at intervals. God help you when you are sitting next to someone will a terrible body odor in a crowded bus on a long distance journey. Guess what friends? I have seen it all!

    III.            The Marriages - Oh, we were talking about bus conductor/driver insulting/fighting passengers because they cannot provide 'change' few seconds ago. Well, do you know you can meet your life partner in a commercial bus in Lagos? Ask me how! Pay a NGN1, 000 for a NGN200 trip and you might be tied together with about four other commuters. Get on a ‘danfo’ today, Match-making is free.

  IV.            The Traffic - Traffic is crazy in Lagos. Lagos is the most populous city in Nigeria and the fastest growing city in Africa. Hence, the huge infrastructural deficit. Lagos roads are constantly busy. Traffic is synonymous with Lagos but ‘danfo’ drivers are immune to these traffic snarls because they always have a short-cut to their destinations. Worst case scenario, they drive against traffic rules. We do not always like the second method of driving against traffic rules and regulations but we all want to get to our destinations in the shortest possible time, don’t us?

    V.            The Traffic Regulatory Officials - Oh, how can I forget these wonderful people on Lagos roads? The LASTMAs, The Traffic Police and other traffic regulatory officials were employed with the sole responsibility of easing traffic flow within the metropolis but truth be told, they contribute directly or indirectly to traffic jams witnessed in Lagos on a daily basis. Please don’t ask me why, just take a ‘danfo’ bus and pray that you are stopped by a LASTMA official and see what happens. 'I no talk anything o'

God Bless Our ‘Danfo’ Buses

God Bless Us - The Commuters

God Bless Lagos, Nigeria

Olusanya, Oluwole Sheriff