TRENDING TOPICS
THE
FRAUD CALLED LOVE: THE BONDAGE CALLED MARRIAGE
I had a very
stressful day at work last Thursday, I have been shuttling between two branches
since my colleague put to bed on the 31st of October, 2019. I had to resume in
her branch the next day and it has been a roller-coaster experience. I have made
a lot of new friends, met some fantastic and intelligent individuals, learnt a
lot about her work and it has ultimately made me a better person but on the
flip side, I have had to endure some very toxic people and some disappointing
moments.
Obviously, Thursday
was just another day; I had to resume in Ikeja, tidy up my tasks for the day
and rush down to Ilupeju to continue with my relief duties. I was particularly
offended by a colleague who lied against me in my presence. How can you claim
that I asked you out when I never did? I mean, who does that?
Interestingly, the
wonderful conversation I had with the tricyclist on my way home inspired this
piece, I had previously plan to discuss my thoughts on the Amotekun Initiative
in my column on the blog. The man told me about his marriage and how he has
been enduring his relationship with the mother of his children the same way I
have been enduring my relief duties and the annoying people I have to contend
with on a daily basis. Undoubtedly, most relationships are like that.
Beyond the deception,
fake impression and silly mirage, we orchestrate on social media about our
lives, achievements and relationships and how marriages are supposed to look
like, most romantic relationships and ultimately marriages in this part of the
world are sometimes arranged because of the urgent need to address the demands
the society place on individuals and families. In sub-Saharan Africa, where
child marriage and other forms of child abuse are pervasive, there is a massive
discrimination of women who are unmarried at a particular age. The resultant
effect is evident of women doing whatever it takes to get and stay married.
Alternatively, while
it is an established fact that women are at a particular disadvantage when we
are discussing the matters of the heart, we should not forget that men also
suffer a lot of abuse in romantic and platonic relationships too. Just like my
conversation with the tricyclist, a lot of men have to endure toxic
relationships in their matrimonial homes and places of work on daily basis.
Please follow the link to read something about Nathan.
Wikipedia defines a
romance scam as a confidence trick involving feigning romantic intentions
towards a victim, gaining their affection, and then using that goodwill to
commit fraud. Fraudulent acts may involve access to the victim's money, bank
accounts, credit cards, passports, e-mail accounts, or national identification
numbers; or forcing the victims to commit financial fraud on their behalf.
(Source: Wikipedia.com)
Moving swiftly on, my
keke friend was very surprised when I told him about my relationship status and
why I am not in a hurry to start a romantic relationship or get married. He
believes – like most Nigerians, that marriage should be next in line after
school and getting a job. Well, love is wonderful and marriage is magical, but
love will be more meaningful when you are in love with the right person and
both of you are ready to weather the storm and confront the challenges life
will bring as we progress in the course of our daily activities and I do not
believe that there should be a timeline to finding the right person.
My opinion: I will
continue to enjoy the freedom being single and unmarried offers within the
limits of living a reasonable and responsible life worthy of emulation while
looking out for that Ms. Right. Until then, LOVE IS A FRAUD AND MARRIAGE IS A BONDAGE
God Bless Us All.
Oluwole Olusanya is the Founder and
Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one of the fastest growing lifestyle blogs in
the country. He is a banker, writer, blogger, public affairs analyst and a tax
consultant. He anchors Trending Topics on SHEGZSABLEZS’ Blog where he
shares his thoughts and opinions on trending issues.
He is currently studying for a Masters
Degree in Business Administration at the University of South Wales, Wales, United
Kingdom. He has diplomas in Banking and Finance, Investigative Journalism,
Creative Writing and Linguistics from Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, Lagos,
University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland and The Open University, Milton
Keynes, United Kingdom.
I don't even know how to respond to this post. It tries to touch on so many issues in a very few supply of paragraphs. The key points in the article which were not properly addressed are in my opinion; toxic relationships, women oppression, domestic abuse, emotional scam, the meaning of love, and societal pressures. I believe this article can be split into five articles and then address each topic properly.
ReplyDeleteFirst on love, love is not a scam. Love not properly administered can only be corrupted and used to scam. Just like any tool in the hands of unscrupulous people can be used for evil. Love is the sweetest thing on earth and the most important and most powerful force.
There are toxic people everywhere. Not only in romantic relationships but even in friendships. You gotta know how to deal with them.
Thanks alot for your wonderful comment, Olusola.
DeleteIt is obvious that you spent on alot of time this.
The issues you raised will be adequately addressed in subsequent articles.
Thank you once again.