SATURDAY NIGHTS WITH SPARKS

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

Don't think for one second I want to tell you all I’m a lesbian, you think I will give up all the three and a half packs I see around?? Nah baby...you are wrong!! and yes, I am still a woman. Thank you!!

So, coming out of the closet to me simply means "stop being a hypocrite!!!!"

It's as simple as that. There is sooo much hypocrisy in the world that I wonder what's true anymore.

Let's look at the education sector: Hypocrisy is when you get a PhD from a school in Naija....but send your pikin abroad to get a degree...I think if there is a ban on office holders sending wards abroad, ON TAXPAYERS MONEY!!!, there will be wonderful change in our education system. Those in support say Aye....it doesn't matter, the "ayes" have it.

HEALTH - How can you possibly go wrong when you run abroad each time your car somersaults?? Or is it that reoccurring knee injury?? Well, it's hypocrisy!! Because we have the world class hospital recently commissioned....so you all should troop down there and have yourselves checked out. All I did was write, if you call names...you are on your own.

MORALS - You hate homosexuality but love ‘Jamal from Empire’...I am guilty. You hate ‘sidechicks’ but Olivia Pope in ‘Scandal’ is your role model...I dey watch you in slow motion.

RELIGION - You don't like your church but have to attend and "dress up" to allow peace reign. This one, call me a bladdy hypocrite here...I am a believer.

POLITICS - Hypocrisy is when Cross River state that was looking like amazon rainforest...suddenly transformed because Baba was visiting!! I wish they had hypocritically given us light too. Our governor is working!!!

I'm not done here. Hypocrisy is when you call the presidential election free and fair...and say Rivers election was unfair ...like my friend Aniekan said, "if you truly believe the election was free and fair, you will not make heaven"

*moonwalks away from the post. I know I have wrecked enough havoc this night"

Y'all need to repent and repeat this prayer after me, "from today, I come out of the closet....never to return anymore, I don't care if R. Kelly releases another track in the closet, I am a changed person".

Gallantly signing out

About the Author
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as 'Sparks' has to say about herself......................

As a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present day banker.....and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my pen.......therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.