WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY SOLA BODUNRIN

HOW TO BE LUCKY (SEASON FOUR)

·        CURIOSITY

As funny as this may sound, staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck. Try as much as possible to know something about everything. Lay your hands on every new information. 

Many people aren’t curious, and, as a result, they neither get nor take any shots at success. As we’ve seen, our default mental setting is to stick with the familiar. The unknown – for instance, turning up at a party where we don’t know anyone – often feels threatening. Our brain switches to inhibition mode and we do nothing.

Being cautious, or curious, about new things is self-perpetuating. If you don’t go to that party, you are missing a chance to get better at handling new things, and your commitment to the status quo strengthens. If you do go to that party, perhaps you’ll meet someone new, who will invite you to another party, and then another, until you eventually meet someone special – your future spouse, perhaps, or a new friend or an entrepreneur with a great business idea.

So try to recognize that while your brain’s default is to stick to the familiar, you can make the decision to do something new. And there are ways to make that easier. You can build your social network because friends often help us do new things. Or you can save money, so you have a cushion if you want to take some risks. Or you can reduce your stress levels and work on your confidence so that taking that leap into the unknown feels easier. Say yes to things. Stay curious. In the end, you might just get lucky.

·        REACHING OUT

Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.

Who you know is more important than what you know. Yes, it’s a cliché but for a good reason as it contains an element of truth. You may be the best in the world at what you do, but if you don’t make the right social connections, you won’t get any lucky breaks.

In 1989, sociologist Katherine Giuffre tried to get an idea of how social connections affected success by examining the people and relationships within the New York fine art photography scene. She found three groups. First, there were strugglers – people who were unsuccessful in their careers. Second, there was a group of photographers with stable, long-term connections with the same curators and artists. They were doing okay, but their careers weren’t taking off. And then there was the third group – successful photographers regularly receiving attention from major art journals. This group was different. Its members had more social ties and knew more people, who, in turn, knew still more people. In short, they had a huge network.

Giuffre noted that a lot of art delivered by the first two groups was simply filtered out into obscurity. The art wasn’t necessarily worse – in some cases, it was mind-blowing – but the photographers lacked the right social connections to get ahead. So a fine art photographer who can strike up a positive, engaging conversation with anyone is more likely to get ahead, and the same goes for all of us.

But most of us can’t effortlessly chat up a journalist at a gallery opening. We enter into social interactions with nervousness or inhibitions, or we misinterpret the meaningless gestures of our interlocutor. We see them cross their arms and interpret it as “stay away,” not simply “I forgot my sweater today.”

This kind of caginess can easily inhibit real connections, so, to get around it, you should demonstrate expressive interest in other people. Make crystal clear that you are genuinely interested in the other person. Send unmistakably friendly signals, like smiles and leaning in, and make open, welcoming gestures. If you are unmistakably pleasurable to be around, people will open up and warm to you quickly. Remember that humans are social animals. Just as we’re hardwired to enjoy sex and food consumption, we’re instinctively drawn to friendly smiles and welcoming body language.

PS: As we conclude the sequence on ‘How To Be Lucky’, I encourage everyone to follow the links to the season one, season two and season three of our lengthy but educative and entertaining piece. More on how to reach out and increase your circle will be discussed next week in our new series, CONNECTIONS.

Please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments box provided below.

Have a fruitful day!

Olusola Bodunrin is a graduate of Philosophy from the University of Ado-Ekiti. He is a professional writer, he writes articles for publication and he anchors – ‘What You Should Know’ on SHEGZSABLEZS’ blog.

‘What You Should Know’ is a column that offers to educate and enlighten the public on general falsehood and myths.