SATURDAY NIGHTS WITH SPARKS

THE ARMED ROBBERS VISIT!!

In my first year, I stayed in the hostel like most freshers, after my parents left me in the hands of extra strict church guardians, so I didn’t even think of staying outside school or eyeing the girls who stayed there.

After falling from my upper bunk bed twice and spraining my ankle, in addition to the toilet condition, (flies almost as big as butterflies with their loud buzzing that can drive you crazy) waking up as early as 4:00am to have your bath if you intend to meet a semi-clean toilet. Nobody told me twice to get an accommodation outside school.

I stayed with my friend; in fact let’s call it a girl’s hostel. We were 5 girls staying in that single spacious room. You can sleep on the floor or on the bed, depending on who got to it first, and the rule was, if you are on the bed, no pillow for you. You have to give it up for floor members.

Our compound was quite spacious, with many rooms rented out to students. In the evenings, we would keep mats outside and relax, and gist with neighbors till late into the night, before retiring to our various rooms. During Harmattan period in the North, its bloody hot in the day time, and chilly at night.

On this wonderful night, we were asleep. I was on the floor with another friend, two were on the bed and one slept out that night. We didn’t bother locking the door because we needed the cool breeze, no be today NEPA start to misbehave, my people.

I slept on the floor, the pillow to myself and my NGN600 under my pillow. Yes! You read right!! That was all I had home and abroad. Nobody should ask me any question ooo...i am not well.

I was sleeping peacefully, probably dreaming of you (side eye) when all of a sudden, the pillow was dragged from underneath my head. At first I thought it was the normal prank of my friends, who, when they feel you are fast asleep, "snatch" the pillow.

Immediately, I jumped up to possess my possession but Lo and behold, I saw 4 hefty men in our room!!!! In fact, I was the only one asleep because my roommates were awake but in shock!! I just 'jejely' shifted far back to one corner of my room beside my fellow floor member. They were holding heavy machetes and sticks, it was dark, so I had no idea whether they held guns too.

They were asking for our phones, money and all. How that thief knew about the money under my pillow still shocks me. They collected my friend's gold wristwatch and other jewelries, her phones and money.

As for my friends on the bed, they collected their phones and were asking for money. One of them said she had no money, and I totally believed her but one of the armed robbers didn’t, he gave her a resounding slap!!! Turned her around and removed the money from her trouser.

How did he know there was money there? He didn’t search both pockets, just dipped his hand into the right pocket, removed the money and shoved her aside. Now, let us analyze this slap for a minute. You know that kind of slap that hits you and you start asking yourself questions and answering them all at once, that’s what happened. My friend started asking this guy "oh, I had the money??", "ahh! Yes I didn’t know it was there".

You know, when I think of it now, it is freaking hilarious, but then we were so scared!!

They now turned to me and asked for my phone; believe me my phone was in my bag!! I searched my bag and couldn’t find it. I just 'kukuma' give them the bag. They turned it upside down and nothing came out. And they left me, just like that. I was literally shaking like a leaf.

They proceeded to enter our kitchen and carried my 10litres of original palm oil!! Chai!!, foodstuff!! Plus our shoes!! Broke a** thieves mehn!! When they left, I checked my bag again, because I couldn’t understand the magic about my phone. Imagine the phone just sitting in the inner pocket. I was soooo happy.

We now turned our attention to our 'lie-lie' friend! How can you lie to a machete-wielding thief that you have no money when you had some?? Is that how much you hate yourself?? Over how much?? 10k?? We were angry mehn!!

A friend once told me, if an armed robber asks for your phone, remove your wristwatch and necklace and add....no material thing is worth your life. I am not trying to scare anyone but this is a wake-up call to be security conscious because we are approaching the period our people call "ember month"

Moral Lesson

 - Report suspicious movement and hovering around your home or/and place of work.

 -Avoid extravagant lifestyles; it’s a magnet for almost anything these days.

 -And please don’t ever try to be James Bond if you ever come in contact with them.

About the Author
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as 'Sparks' has to say about herself......................

As a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present day banker.....and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my pen.......therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.